Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Computer Stupidities

This what We call.... A CALLS FROM HELL
Customer: "I have just received your software, but I have these plastic things, what are they?"
Tech Support: "Could you describe them please?"
Customer: "They are black plastic, thin, and square."
Tech Support: "Anything else?"
Customer: "They have a metal bit on one edge."
Tech Support: "Disks?"
Customer: "Well, I don't know, do I? I just brought your package. What do I do with them?"

I see a horrible call ahead, and the customer is quite irate already.

Tech Support: "Put the disks in the drive."
Customer: "What's a drive?"
Tech Support: "The slot in your machine that looks just the right size for the disk."
Customer: "Which machine?"
Tech Support: "Do you have a hard drive?"
Customer: "I have two boxes. One has a picture on it."
Tech Support: "Put the first disk in, metal side first."
Customer: "Ok. It's gone in."
Tech Support: "Go to the 'start' button, then run, then type 'setup'."
Customer: "My computer isn't on. How do I turn it on?"
Tech Support: "Push the button by the drive to eject the disk, and press the button that says 'power' on the machine without the pictures on it."
Customer: "Ok. Done."
Tech Support: "Now put in the disk, go to start, run, and type 'setup'."
Customer: "Oh, it's all working now. Thanks, but your software isn't very easy to use, is it?"

Customer: "Right! I demand satisfaction!"
Tech Support: "I see. Well, I'm here to try and help you. What kind of problem are you having?" Customer: "It's not my problem! The 'commuter' I bought six weeks ago just won't work! I can't do a damned thing with it!"
Tech Support: "I see. Do you mean it won't even switch on, or is it something else?"
Customer: "Don't try to sandbag me! I know my rights!"
Tech Support: "Sir, could you explain the problem you are having so I can better help you with it?" Customer: "I've called them all, AOL, Nildram, Tiscali, and none of them are any good."
Tech Support: "Ok, so are you saying that you're having problems getting on-line?"
Customer: "Look, it doesn't work! I want satisfaction!"
Tech Support: "Ok, well I need to ask you some questions to help you with the problem."
Customer: "Fine, but I doubt you're going to fix it."
Tech Support: "Is your modem installed and plugged into the phone line?"
Customer: "How would I know if it's plugged in?"
Tech Support: (describes how the back of the machine looks and where the modem is)
Customer: "Yes, that's just how mine looks, and it doesn't work, so just accept that it's broken!" Tech Support: "Which cable did you connect the modem to the phone line with, sir?"
Customer: "I have to wire the stupid thing in?"

I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.

Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
Customer: "Ok." I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.
Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."
what do you think if you happen to deal with this people -_-!


leosondek said...

ermm.. got ask them they date of birth
i this is around 1320??

leosondek said...

ermm.. got ask them their date of birth
i this is around 1320??

leosondek said...

ermm.. got ask them their date of birth
i this is around 1320??

maslight said...

wuah could they be any more stewped? seriously like that? o me gawd. damn dat's stewped. like never use computer at all. but the click ok and cancel one is so damn funny. like u should say click cancel ahahahaha..

ahhhh i know those kind yang want satisfaction. *rofl.

Nicholian Justine said...

hahaha... hope that we can kick them back to HELL ...kin panas

Enaidyl said...

God, how daft these people can get??

And I thought I'm worse ... heh.

Nicholian Justine said...

hahaha... welcome to hell...